My Breast Cancer Story Pt3

Posted 10/9/2017

I had finished my treatment. It felt odd. Suddenly I was alone, discharged for now from the hospital, I was not due back for a few months! I did not know what to expect. I was a mess. I was fat, bloated, tired, in pain, no hair, no energy and no self esteem. I was going to be on Tamoxifen for a few years and that has a weight gain side effect! How long was this all to last! Everything I had read said you could expect to feel good again by about three months, and I had absolutely no idea how! I was a real mess. How do you start again, pick up where you left off.

First of all, at home I had a horrible gas cooker. My landlord had said He would get me an electrical cooker point installed when I was ready. I wanted an electric oven in time for Christmas. I was praying that by then surely I would have some taste back! I got in touch. Yes it would be sorted. true to his word beginning of December arrived the electrician and fitted my long wanted cooker point and he even fitted my brand new electric oven. For the first time in months I felt good. I couldn't taste anything but I was ready!

Christmas came (we don't really celebrate it, I am Pagan, my son is an Atheist!) but we enjoy the time off and some nice food. I got my taste buds back 3 days before Christmas so my Christmas dinner was absolutely amazingly tasty, I could enjoy food again at last. I even did some baking. I was starting to do things but tiredness was overwhelming. My feet were still bad, I had lost half of my toe nails, my fingers were a mess, fingernails were broken halfway up my fingertips but I was starting to feel a little better. I was starting to get out but I still felt a mess.

Next my son took me off to Newcastle for a well earned day out between Christmas and New Year. It was so tiring even though I enjoyed it. We had our usual visit to the Crown Carvery for a lovely dinner but we had to come home early as I was just too tired, in fact betime I had gotten home I was totally exhausted .

It was January. I was planning to start going back to work in February but as I had a physical job, how could I managed. I worked split shifts, early mornings and afternoons. I had planned to go back to my afternoon job while taking holiday from my morning job until 31st march. At this time I had no idea how I would manage this, I was still a total wreck!

I made an appointment to go and see my Dr mid January and asked him about how I was feeling. He was in no doubt I would be fine by the middle of February! He said this month things would change. The chemo effects would start to dissipate and I would start to feel better and stronger. Guess what? It did!

By the end Of February I was cleared to return back to work on my afternoon job. I felt good. I felt strong, I felt like I was alive again. By the 1stAapril 2017 I was back to work fully on both my morning and afternoon jobs. I still suffer from tiredness and have to go back to bed each lunchtime still but I am a lot fitter, stronger and happier than I have been for years.

So where am I at now?

Up to now I have lost two and a half stone. I walk everywhere. I have a lot more confidence and I am able to do a lot more work (even allowing for the daily rest I have to take). I still wear a wig, my hair regrowth has been slow and I have had patch hair thinning I think due to a secondary medication I have just started called Zoladex, a monthly implant.

It has been a huge battle. It has been a journey I wish on no person. No one comes out of this without some scars. it also changes you, how you look and live life, how you feel things, how you react to others. You are also more grateful for life, you are alive, you have survived, you live each day as it is a gift. You will NEVER be as you were. You are a cancer survivor.

Me 2017 vs 2016 undergoing chemotherapy Me 2017 vs 2016 undergoing chemotherapy

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